...for me to fear life?

okay, i will not deny that this is but another emo moment in my life of emo moments. But i will not deny that my life has been nothing but something for me to fear lately. My past, my future, my present, my wrongs, my rights, my hardships, my changes, my surroundings, my friends, my enemies.... how can you guys go around treating life the way it is - i know not. But for me, i feel like im losing the trust i gave life, one event after another.

Today is fathers day. An event i care not, just like mothers day. But soon enough i will have my own kids, and these celebrations will be directed to me instead. Sometimes, the ability to give birth is a good thing. But coming back unto topic, fathers day has been an event i've failed to celebrate for years now. because, as some of you might know, my father is no longer present. The only father i lean upon now is god. But today as a seurfed through some of the blogs i follow, i realize how precious a family could become, Like for me years ago, when family was all there was for me. But i guess things change, parents can lose the love for their children and vice versa. And now that my family is no longer whole, it's hard to see another's world so perfect.

It makes you wonder why yours is nothing like so? Do you believe in karma? I don't, but if you do, i guess it's easier to ignore the pain and hardships given to you.

I'm scared i am not strong enough to pull through my own hardships. I have endured much in my life, much that most people will never encounter, and I'm proud of myself. But, how long more must I suffer? Isn't life supposed to be a blessing?

Then why is it so pain?

I have shared a lot of my feelings today, and i wish for only 1 condition from my dear readers - that you will never try to console me on this. I wish not to talk about this to anyone, and I think my reasons are understandable. Thank you for visiting.

Labels: emo, holidays